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Archive for July, 2008

Dilusional

I have diluded myself into thinking people out there give a fig about me. I know a couple of friends read to keep up with me from across the globe, and you do care. Other than that not to many folks give a flying fig. Hell it’s my life and I often barely give a care.

My dh is becoming a joke version, a discusting joke version of the man I married. He’s depressed but denies it. If he denies it the he can preten all is well. But sleeping 10-12 hours (sometimes more!!) isn’t normal, but you can’t tell my dh who knows it all that. He also seems to have given up regular bathing for short touch-up wash-up at the sink, washing face and arm pits and groin and he’s done. The thought of his nasty ass making love to me….YUCK WHAT A MASSIVE TURN OFF!! I told him this more than once and again this is my problem not his. Not my problem I just say no, his problem is no sex from me until he has a normal shower. I went 9 years before meating without sex I can holdout alot better than he can!!!

He still lives in his self constructed bubble of stupidity concerning the Avon. I found out for a fact that I was right and he was flat out 100% in the dark idiotically wrong on the topic but didn’t tell him. I am keeping that info for myself. I will oneday sell avon and use the information then against him.

You see I know my husband cannot stand to see me happy and successful if it means that it’s away from him. He’d be much happier if I were miserable and suffering just like him on his river of DENIAL. He is quit happy that I have gained a bunch of weight, that I look old and ugly. That meens no one wants me but him. If I were happy, had my weight down, died my hair and looked younger, well then someone might find me attractive I could smarten up realize what a total ass he is. If that happens I may leave. In his mind best I stay fat, ugly, old looking and miserable. Little does he know what he does is push me closer and closer and closer to the proverbial door of leaving him.

Mark my words here and now: If our situation does not improve, if he does not improve his attitude towords me and this marriage,if he doesn’t improve himself and personal hygene within the next year, I may well leave for I am greatly unsure of how much fatter I can take him getting. How much sitting and watching tv doping nothing. How much gryping but doing about it. How much deteriation with no effort to save himself I can handle before I leave and never come back!!!!!

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